Thank you for reading my weekly blogs. They have always had four rules. It can be read in one minute. It relates to the automotive world. It is inspirational. It has a business tie to the message.
Not this week.
In these difficult times, it’s tough to be emotionally resilient. But it’s also in this difficult time that it’s critically important that we remain strong in the face of all the challenges that the Covid-19 pandemic and social violence presents us with every day. Would it surprise you to find out that scientific research in the area of stress tells us that there are essentially four key elements that contribute to our level of emotional resilience and stress resistance? I think of these four elements as the four supporting legs of a wooden stool, where the seat of this stool represents how effective we are at coping with stress in our life.
Leg Number One
The first of the legs of this ‘coping skills’ stool reflects the sense of Control we feel in the face of the challenges that we must endure. The more we feel in control, the more stress resistant and resilient we tend to be. The more out-of-control we feel – thinking of ourselves as a victim who is helpless – the more stress susceptible we tend to be and the more our situation seems hopeless. While we can’t control what we can’t control, it’s important to remind ourselves that we always have 100% control over how we choose to see the situation evolving around us and what we choose to do about it. There are many things we can control today to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe and it’s important that we focus on these things and tackle them head-on. This mindset of control over what we do will help to make us more resilient.
Leg Number Two
The second leg of the coping skills stool addresses the level of Commitment we feel as we engage the challenges of this moment. The more committed we are to get through this and overcome the challenge in front of us, the more we can effectively endure the setbacks that most surely will litter the path ahead. But if we give up and don’t focus on and pour our energy into pushing ahead, we are more likely to succumb to the stress of the moment. This is what champions do…they rise to the challenge and simply focus on giving their all in the moment, focused on the things that they can control. And this is a big part of what makes them champions.
Leg Number Three
The third element of our coping skills ‘toolbox’ relates to how we choose to view Change. When we understand that change is one of the greatest constants in life and accept the inevitability of change (especially when we can’t control what’s happening around us) and decide to look for the opportunity that almost always exists within this change, we are more emotionally resilient than if we constantly push back against change. It’s important to recognize that how we choose to view change and the mindset we adopt in the face of change is a big factor in the emotional stress response that results as a product of the turbulent world around us. Perspective is key here and I encourage us to consider whether the perspective we adopt in the face of the challenges of today is supporting the mindset that will help us to get through this pandemic – and its consequences – in the best possible way.
Leg Number Four… The Final Leg
The final tool in our coping skills toolbox centers around how Connected we feel to others in our community and our personal network. Research into the area of stress affirms that the more disconnected, isolated, and alone we feel, the more stress-susceptible we tend to be. But the opposite is also true – the more we feel connected to those around us, the more resilient and emotionally strong we tend to be. Even though it’s critical that we respect the need for physical distance and where necessary, even isolate in place in this Covid-19 environment, it doesn’t mean that we need to remain disconnected. The technology available to us today provides many platforms and channels to remain connected to the important people in our life…via telephone, conferencing software, social media (if we use these intelligently), and email just to name a few. We are not alone. Family, friends, co-workers, our community, our church, etc. offer the opportunity to connect with others who can support our emotional needs as we face the challenges of this moment. We just need to put a little energy into making and then sustaining these connections. This will help us to remain resilient until such time as we don’t need to worry so much about physical distancing to remain safe.
And Finally
Finally, if we turn to history, it informs us that we will – as a species – survive this pandemic. That’s because we always have. We’ve come through difficult times in the past and while it may have been painful, we’ve survived as a species and a society to move ahead. Our challenge is to maintain the courage and the will to deal with this pandemic head-on and do the things that are within our control that we must do to minimize the threat posed by this virus. We also need to remind ourselves that we aren’t alone. If we support each other and follow the guidelines experts in public health have laid out for us, we’ll optimize the chance of getting through this difficult time with the best possible outcome. The mindset we cultivate and sustain in these challenging times can contribute to our emotional resilience, to lower levels of anxiety, and to the ability to perform at a high level whenever that performance is asked of us. Perhaps the most important question for the day is…
“How do I choose to think in the face of this challenge?”
Something to think about…
This writing is from past Cars Yeah guest Jacques Dallaire. I found it helpful and I hope you do as well. To learn more about Jacques and how he helps people visit his website: Performance Prime
You can enjoy my two interviews with Jacques here: Jacques #1 and Jacques #2
This was great Mark… I have known Jacques for a long time – he is a wise man….great words to ponder. Cindy Sisson
Thank you Mark for sharing these wise words – – now more than ever, we need to stay positive, connected and kind to each other.
Thanks Mark, this is very important Reading of the situation, and hopefully answer the concern others have of how to cope with what’s going on in their lives and around them.
Well done Mark, and much needed in this time of concern for each other and those around us today. I am posting this on the employee e-board for viewing today.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks again, Mark! As usual, you are spot on regarding what’s going on in our world. Sometimes it’s about our beloved cars, sometimes you share thoughts and quotes from others, and sometimes you have your own unique take, and always a positive one. With 24 hours news feeds reporting everything but happy-news, this kind of reminder is timely. We’ve been buried under so many lemons, we’re all getting pretty sick of lemonade therefore most of us are seeking other ways to turn these negatives (perceived or not) into positives. Your posting this week, certainly helps. thanks again, my friend….
Great segment Mark, & thank you for the reminder about taking control of those things that are in our control. Just like with driving in a panic situation, -either you take control and give inputs, or you will have the car(s) control what happens next! Eyes up and look ahead…. there is light at the end of this tunnel.
Very best.